Back On Track: Coming Back from Off-plan Eating

You’ve fallen and you’re not sure if you want to get up, huh? Listen. Everyone who has struggled with weight has had those days. Maybe you have been eating junk for a day (or three…or thirty), whatever. You’re tired of thinking about everything you put in your mouth, and you ask yourself if maybe life wasn’t so bad when your biggest food worry was not running out of pop-tarts and Oreos? This has been hard, and you loved your sugar…

Well, stop that right now! And please, don’t tell me you “can’t,” ‘cause that’s a load of bull-hockey. So let’s get that crap out of the way first off. As long as you are saying you can’t, I believe you. When you start saying you can, you’ll be in a position where it’s possible. Until then, it’s not. So don’t waste any more time, and come back when you’re ready to move on.

Still here? Okay, Sparky. I can work with that. Let’s go!

What kills people in their attempts to lose weight is NOT the occasional off-plan meal, although it often starts there. One isolated incident of poor eating choices means NOTHING beyond whatever meaning you give it. The choices you make day in and day out is what will bear the fruit. What gets people is the interpretation they give their off-plan times.

But if you continue to give it the same meaning that most of us have, at some point, especially every OTHER time we’d tried to lose weight and failed…well, where are you headed? And by that I mean this circular, self-defeating thinking spiral-as in, “What’s wrong with me? How could I be so weak? I can’t believe I blew it,” and on and on and on. It’s not any personality defect that derails anybody. It’s that darned thinking!

Truth is, you ain’t blown diddley! If you were discussing a “diet,” where you have a specific set of rules and then you broke the rules and lost the contest, okay, whatever. But you’re not. You’re talking about your life, for goodness sakes! You are changing your eating habits for life. Which means there will be times, most likely, when you eat more or make less helpful choices than other times. So what? Just keep on going and it doesn’t matter a whit.

But instead, if you stop and berate yourself and your many perceived flaws, you talk yourself right out of doing the work you need to do. You decide it’s just beyond you throw up your hands and give up. That’s no good!

I actually find it encouraging when someone reaches the point they normally would have given up before. Sound weird? It’s not as weird as it seems.

If you are considering giving up, it points to one, very important fact you need to take notice of: You’re at a crossroads now. You can go either way, and it’s 100% your choice which way you go. This means you have the OPPORTUNITY to decide where this goes. You can correct problems you’ve experienced in the past. You can change things. You can lick this demon, man! Here and now. This is the place for the Phoenix to rise. Let your old “dieting” identity die off, and be replaced by your new way of life. That is a powerful position to find oneself in, man!

Banish the word “can’t” from your vocabulary. Replace it with “choice.” Even if you don’t believe it 100% yet, your subconscious will hear you telling yourself it is all a choice and the process will begin.

You can’t change your pants size until you change what goes on in your head. Write this down and sleep with it under your pillow if necessary. You have to change your head!

And don’t fool yourself for a minute: it IS a process, and not an event. You are learning new habits and breaking old ones. Change is challenging! But the truth is, once we let go of some of the problematic attitudes that helped keep us overweight, the other stuff starts to magically fall into place. It’s kind of like sex that way: it all begins and ends in your head. The other stuff is just (low-carb) dressing, man.

What I’d like to see people in this situation do is use this experience for their benefit. You can, you know.

Ask yourself: what led me off-track? When did I first start noticing I was sliding into old habits and making choices that don’t reflect my long-term goals? Were there warning signs? How did I feel after I ate the stuff I did? If you can use this, you can develop your own early-warning system and make this incident an asset, not a problem.

I know its extra tough when you’re under a lot of stress, but get focused and what you’ll find is that once you get over the hump of some temporary discomfort that comes form changing long-ingrained habits…well, you’ll actually greatly RELIEVE your stress by making good eating choices. You will feel better and I can promise you this: feeding your body healthy food will help you deal with stress way more effectively than sugar ever did. Taking care of yourself helps you be in a position to take care of others.

A couple of concrete recommendations that I find helpful, anyway, when I’m having a rough time…

Remind yourself of successes. It seems counter-intuitive maybe, but that is EXACTLY where you need to focus when you’re feeling upset with yourself. ’cause bad feelings lead to poor choices. This, if you let it, leads to more of the same.
Say nice stuff to yourself! People think they will start to feel better about themselves once they loose weight. That’s backwards. You start to loose weight once you start to feel better about yourself.
Remind yourself what you’re doing it all for in the first place. Maybe you’ve got a family and you want to be around for them. More than you know, you’re choices will also impact their choices and there health over time. And especially if you have kids who need to lose weight: they don’t need for you to be perfect. But they need for you to hang on with them and help them see what’s possible.
Getting back on the wagon IMMEDIATELY. Don’t make the meaningless distinctions that “today is shot” or the weekend or week or month or whatever. Your life is made of up days. Don’t just toss the rest of the time period because of a few choices here or there; it doesn’t help and you don’t even enjoy the junk you’re eating for that matter.
Have as many coping skills and activities, whatever, ready to call on at any time. Forget willpower, which is useless anyway. It comes and goes…like the tide. Bah. My money is on planning!
Journaling is a big help for many. You have lots of processing going on. So process. You are starting not only to eat like a thinner person, but you need to start THINKING like a thinner person, too.
Think good thoughts. Take the Pollyanna challenge. Support yourself with positive people. You will attract what you focus on. Make sure that’s it is not Little Debbies you’re focusing on, dude!
I’m of the opinion that it doesn’t matter how many slips you have. This isn’t a race, it’s your life. The only thing that matters is that you keep coming back, you’re consistent and persistent. THAT is what will get you there. If you make 1000 mistakes, then come back 1001 times.

I imagine there is not a single person here who hasn’t felt distraught enough to consider giving up sometimes. But you CAN break through it. You just have to ride it out and replace it with positive thoughts and emotions.

Low-carb is an amazing tool, and it has indeed changed my life. Insert the tool of yoru choice here. But I am without question: If I hadn’t adjusted my attitude along with my eating, I’d still be fat.

Keep coming here, going to support forums, getting a sense of community wherever you can, and keep posting and keep reading. When you’re feeling off-kilter and “in danger,” come read some positive stuff or pull out some of your low-carb (or whatever eating plan) books or write of list of all the ways you’re a great person or call a friend or take a walk or go out and just breathe in the trees and flowers. Visualize yourself successful, focus on your successes, and think about successes. Do good stuff.

Above all, realize the choice is up to you. And understand: You may be crashing and burning because this is what NEEDS to happen. Your old ways hadn’t gotten you to where you want to be, right? Things happen for a reason. Maybe, you need to “kill off” your old eating style, your old dieting style, as you outgrow it. You are doing the work you need to do. And sometimes, it’s challenging. (That’s a big, fat “Duh,” huh?) But that’s not the point.

The point is that when you go down, you can either stay down, or you can come back, better than ever. You can be a dead ducky or the Phoenix, more powerful and wiser than ever.

Which do you pick, Sparky?