Ongoing Weight Loss: The Long Haul

Am I in it for the long haul?

This is a question I've had to ask myself recently, as I face the last stretch of weight loss. I've dropped 85 of the 120 or so I want to lose, and frankly, I look pretty good. I have gone from a 24W to a misses 16, I have only the slightest hint of a double chin, and I am in proportion. I have curves where I want them, not where the fat wants them. My eyes look bigger. My hands look long and elegant. My shoulders look broader and stronger. Heck, I AM stronger, having devoted myself to regular workouts. I can run when I want to (or have to). I can bend over and touch my toes. Heck, I can SEE my toes.

Eighteen months after fearing I was doomed to a fat, unattractive, unhealthy existence, I am in pretty good shape.

And I'm still 35 pounds overweight.

This is the point where many people START. Thirty-five pounds is a lot; it's considered unhealthy and undesirable, and when people lose 35 pounds, it's a big deal.

You can see my quandary. On one hand, I already look so much better and feel so much better than I did, I don't have the same motivation I did 85 pounds ago. But on the other hand, I am still way overweight and still have so much still to do. If I want to be as healthy as I can be, I have to stay the course.

Am I in it for the long haul?

It would be so easy to give up now, since I'm "within range." I know how to maintain my current weight. And frankly, I'm getting tired of having "lose weight" be my primary project. I've never done anything like this for more than a year. In my spiritual community, the rule of thumb is that you devote yourself to whatever "lesson" or "project" or "course of study" you take on for a year and a day. Well, I've more than done my year and a day on this little trip. How much more do I have to do?

Am I in it for the long haul?

I envy those who only have 35 pounds to lose. Sure, it is absolutely a struggle, an issue, an important health issue. I don't mean to minimize that journey. In fact, kudos to each of you for realizing you need to drop the excess weight before it turns into 120 pounds. I?m envious of your self-awareness, your awakening. But the other truth is that you don't have to commit to what may be years of weight LOSS, no less maintenance. And it's that commitment that I find quite difficult right now.

Am I in it for the long haul?

I?ve written here before about the dangers of complacency; in that post, I felt as though I didn't have the "umph" to finish what I started. I was having a lot of "oh, to hell with it" moments. And thankfully, the loving membership came to my side and reminded me that there are always bumps in the road, that the last thing I want to do is fulfill false expectations, that remembering MY reasons for losing weight will help me refocus, that there are some fears about success I need to face. Two months later, I have explored these questions and have come to a better understanding about this journey and about myself.

Am I in it for the long haul?

Not every day is wine and roses. There are some pretty significant bumps in the road, but I realize that my knowing how to maintain has gotten me through until I reach smoother roads and can lose again. Focusing on things I can do now, like marathon gardening, fun workouts, and shopping in the misses department helps me remember the reasons I started losing weight in the first place. And a stern, honest review of my success to date has helps me realize I'm no longer a quitter. I can set a goal and make it, no matter how long it takes.

Am I in it for the long haul?

Yes.

See you at goal!