Cheating and Other Abberations

I sometimes hear people talk about “cheating”…how they screwed everything up, blew up, lost it, etc. etc. And it bugs the heck out of me! As in, ok, so you eat one thing that’s high carb (or high cal or high fat or whatever your drummer plays), and you’re done? Your life is over?

You’ve just messed up everything completely and utterly? Oh well, let’s throw up my hands and give up now, since I’ve discovered I wasn’t 100% perfect like I thought I was? That being “human” thing is for losers. I’m better than that…

Get over yourself already! Who died and elected you perfect? Now, I understand that mindset. I do. Oh lord, how I understand it…

How do you think I got fat in the first place? It was “too hard,” it “wasn’t worth it,” “I screwed everything all up when I tried and may as well forget it now.” Yeah. That’s exactly what happened. And you know what? That mindset will make you fat, too!

Well Holy Moly. Talk about having difficulties with delayed gratification…There is basically only one way to “blow it” as far as I’m concerned…stop! That’s it. Simple, huh?

If you stop working on your issues and you stop trying to improve your health and your life and yourself, then yes, you’ve blown it. But since you can start again any time, then you have until you die to do it…Now, as we know with weight at least, if you don’t take care of business, of course, that may come sooner rather than later. But please…you ain’t dead yet, baby! So stop acting like it.

I dunno. I just think if you eat a plate of French fries, then OK. You ate some French Fries. Digest and move on already. Is there some reason this is a major emotional challenge?

Here’s what you should do: Think about how it makes you feel physically, and decide if it’s the way you like to feel. Think about whether or not it’s in line with what you want an your long term goals. And if it’s not, then you’ll be armed with that knowledge next time you face a plate of fries, right?

But don’t bother with the wailing and the gnashing of teeth, all Bblical style. Just stay away from the fries, Sparky.

I don’t mean to be insensitive. Well, OK. So I’m not worrying about sensitivity too much. But that’s not the point. I guess the thing is that I can just see it all so clearly now, this time around.

Look at the words we use, even. “Cheat.” Cheating implies breaking the rules, doing something undetected, in secret. Who or what exactly, are we cheating? Dr. Atkins? He’s passed on. Your beef jerky will realize you’re seeing other snacks?

 Here’s why I think it’s called cheating: we’re trying to sneak food past our brains, so our arse won’t notice and won’t react with the additional weight gain. You think if you don't say it out loud, your butt won't hear what you ate.

Ever heard somebody talk who “got away” with a cheat? It’s almost like a kid who snuck past the principal to ditch school—pretending like your butt won’t know what your mouth is packing away if you whisper about it is ridiculous.

It’s like the whole thing becomes some kind of bizarre mind game, and it gets in the way of moving ahead. It’s the whole mentality that gets to me sometimes. “Oh my God I’ve cheated and I’m so bad and I am so lost and clueless and I have no control over myself and whatever shall I do?!”

And it may not surprise you that I have an answer: I'm sorry, but it's time to grow up. You aren’t being force fed. (And this advice applies to myself, too, by the way. I'm understand it because I've been guilty of it!)

What will it take for people to realize that what to have for dinner is not a MORAL decision? Do you call your Religious Counsel to discuss appetizers? I didn’t think so, and if you do, your issues are beyond the scope of this article, anywho. Get thee to a psychiatric office, posthaste.

Otherwise, realize that you are making choices. And those choices can lead to your arse swelling…Yes, some folks have medical issue. But me? I got fat because I ate too darned much. I have thyroid issues and family history that predisposes me to it, but I’m the chick that munched up those Little Debbies and Poptarts, baby. Can’t blame that on my metabolism or society!

Does that make me a bad person? Heck no! It makes me somebody who likes chocolate, dang it. But I like losing weight more than I like Little Debbies, so I’m on track. And if I pop a half a donut here or there, so what? My arse is still gonna know about it. I’m not fooling anybody.

I’m not a bad person, though. I’m just a person who needs to keep track of how many donuts I snarf if I want to get skinnier.