Fat Thinking

I watch people. In particular, I watch folks with weight issues deal with them. And you can see certain attitudes, opinions, and "self-stories" that seem to have a pretty strong correlation with failure rates. Now, I'm not saying I don't think you can overcome dysfunctional attitudes. You certainly can! And they don't have any huge meaning, except...in most cases, you'll most usually be stuck until you do move past ‘em. And if you spot yourself in here, don't take it too hard. I couldn't understand it too well unless I'd had some degree of personal experience with many of these attitudes. (Most? All? I'll never tell!)

Fat Thinking Attitudes

I just can't stick with this.

Ok, granted, most everybody who struggles with weight has said this at one time or another. And often, it's simply a complaint, fussing at oneself because said person hasn't in fact stuck with their eating plans for more than a few days or whatever their set time period is. But let's stop and take a closer look...

Here's what I say: You're right. You absolutely cannot. As long as you're sitting there TELLING me you can't, you're right. I'm not going to argue with you about it. But the opposite is also true: you tell me you CAN, and it's true as well. So you can turn this around at any point.

But it's still not a good idea to say this. Because each time you say it, it sinks into your brain. Each time you say this, it in fact becomes just a little more true. It becomes a little bit more real for you; it becomes a bit bigger piece of your personal reality, and materializes just a bit more. And if we're to be believed, that, in fact, is NOT the objective, eh?

Instead, how about saying, "I feel frustrated because I haven't stuck with my eating plan more than a few days at a time?" Or maybe, you "haven't chosen" to do so, right? You're wondering why you've been making questionable choices, right? It IS a choice. Don't even pretend otherwise-at least, not around me! There is no "can't" about it. There are no cookie terrorist forces feeding you Oreos at the business end of an Uzi with a chocolate syrup chaser. C'mon folks. So don't talk like there is!

I don't know what's wrong with me.

That one is easy-nothing! To say something is wrong with you implies that you have some sort of secret, hidden defect that preempts your ability to lose weight. It's not your choices. It's that darn secret, inner defect! You know. The one that makes it so you can't stay on track more than 24 hours in a row...yeah! That one.

Now, you tell me that you don't understand why you're making choices that don't support your long-term goals, ok. I can buy that. But declaring yourself inherently defective is not only inaccurate, but it's counter-productive. It keeps you off-track by keeping you from actually examining why you are making non-helpful choices. It takes the power out of your hands and puts it off to the winds of fate. Screw that. Taking responsibility can sting a little bit, but it's the only way you can change.

Ooopsie! I messed up and ate 2 dozen donuts and 4 big Macs. Twenty-two times. Heh heh. But I'll restart in 253 days on January 1st.

Well, heck. Number 1, it's not cute when you sabotage yourself. Period. I mean, OK, it's fine and good to laugh at yourself about a lot of things. Most things, really. But still. It's just not cute to mess up and keep messing up. 

And number two, WHY on earth would you want to wait to get back on track? Whatsa matter? Didn't do enough damage with the first binge-fest? You need MORE to overcome before you get back on track? This makes so little sense it makes my head hurt. Uh....it doesn't matter if it's "in the morning" or "Monday" or "next week" or "New Years'" or whatever. Your butt doesn't fail to absorb calories just because you think it's a weekend, so you're home free. I repeat: your arse does not care what day it is.

I have to do it this time. There is no choice. It's my last chance.

This one doesn't sound so bad, does it? Adding that extra motivation to get it right? Not. See, it's still dysfunctional in my opinion. (And my opinion you're free to ignore or not, as you see fit. I won't mind.)

Why? Well...because it's not true for starters! Of course you don't "have to" do it this time. You're not going to blow your brains out if you don't lose twelve pounds by next Friday, right? (It has to be by Friday, 'cause you know...your backside won't let you lose weight on a weekend.)

And you know as well as everybody else-there is a choice. You'd better know there is a choice. 'Cause if you're not acknowledging a choice, once again your signing off your personal power to the wind. And that will get you nowhere.

And if you've touted this as the absolute last chance, what happens if it doesn't go as planned? You give up? Well, okay, giving up is one option. But make no mistake-OPTION it is. How about this-your "last chance" is when you quit, plain and simple. You don't fail until you quit forever. And if you've quit a thousand times, then you damn well better restart 1001. If you actually want to be successful, that is.

They made me eat that cake.

Yeah. This is the same Oreo-pushing terrorist squad, right? Gimme a break, man. If there are no firearms involved, nobody made you eat squat. And your butt doesn't care who told you to eat it. Or what day of the week it is. But I'll tell you a secret: there is a special, magical spell that you can use in this situation. You utter the magic word as many times as it takes-one more time than "they" demand you eat-and it all goes away. You ready for the magic spell incantation?.................... the word is "No." yeah. I know you knew that.

I have to have those [Insert Junk Food Item Here] for my husband/kids/mother/imaginary friend.

Forget it. I mean, you know this is baloney even when you're saying it, don't you? Who's gonna die without their poptarts? And if your family relationships are going to fall about without full and unrestricted poptart access for all, if some sugar-squares are more important to the other people in your life than your health and well-being...well geez. Then you have some problems much more significant than your weight. They might moan and whine to start, but in the long run, they'll get over it.

Now, I poke fun at these attitudes. Because really, we need to. We need to see the silliness of it all. We need to see it's ridiculous so we can quit doing it. See, you're very possibly reading this as someone who's been struggling with your weight, maybe for a long time. And each of the other times, you've had these attitudes or similar ones. They don't serve you. So cut ‘em out.

And for gosh's sakes: quit worrying about how long it takes, ok? You either make changes for life or your butt is right back in the extra-large sizes, man. So who cares how long it takes? It takes however long it takes. Life doesn't work by your schedule. (Much like your butt, it doesn't care that you have plans for the weekend.)

Just do. don't try, don't think about it, don't make excuses for it, don't wail and gnash your teeth and prostrate yourself before the deity of your choice because you haven't done it already or it's taking longer than you thought or it's harder than you thought or whatever. Just do. Just take care of today, focus on the process, focus on now, and drop the excuses. And the future has an amazing way of taking care of itself. If you take care of right this minute man. Even if it's Saturday night, your butt will thank you.

Peace out. Now just shut up and do it.