Dixie's Transformation

If you don't think you can do this—if you are feeling completely overwhelmed by how much weight you need to lose and if you think you have to be some kind of superhero to lose 100 pounds or more—well, I'm here to ask you to reconsider.

My story is not all that unusual, I don't think. I'd been significantly overweight almost all my life. Weight issues run in my family and my mom is a great cook. "Eat something. It will make you feel better." You know how it works. I was a fat baby, who grew into a fat kid, who became a fat teenager, and ultimately, a fat adult. Suffice it to say I cannot remember any extended period in my life before low carb where I wouldn't have warranted a medical diagnosis of morbid obesity.

Over the years, I'd try to lose weight like most of us do. I ate just grapefruit and cottage cheese, or I popped Dexatrim or I drank Slimfast shakes for all my meals. None of it lasted more than a week or so—often less than a week, because any weight lost felt painfully slow for the amount of effort I was putting out. I was hungry and unhappy, and eating was an old, comfortable coping mechanism. So sooner or later, without fail, I'd end up sneaking off with some sugary mess, trying very hard to pretend the food I ate when nobody was watching didn't count and I didn't care anyway.

Of course, it did count and I did care.

I did have some success in high school, if you can call it "success." I was a junior or senior, and my weight was rapidly approaching 200, which scared me. So I joined a gym. I worked out, probably between 15-20 hours a week total. Oh, yeah: and I mostly stopped eating. Some days I'd have a salad or some cottage cheese or something, but many days, I'd just have 3 or 4 cans of Tab throughout the day in place of eating. (You know I was dedicated if I was living off that nasty stuff!) Needing to sit down and rest in the middle of a set of aerobics wasn't uncommon for me, because I'd get  dizzy. But I lost weight, right? And that's all anybody noticed. I think everybody just chalked it up to the exercise and thought I was "eating healthier." I got down to about 150.

Of course, that sort of pattern is not maintainable long-term, so slowly, gradually, I slipped back into my old habits. I was "dieting" until I lost weight, after all. I stopped dieting and going to the gym and the weight started creeping back up. I still didn't have the right tools. I comforted myself by saying that I didn't really care anyway.

In my early twenties, I met the man that became my husband and was shocked to discover that he loved the person I am inside, and wasn't all that concerned about my shell. So I quit worrying about it, too. We hooked up and got married. I called it "self-acceptance" and generally ignored the weight.

I got pregnant and put on 75 pounds with baby. I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. The doc said to me, "Lose the weight or in 20 years, you'll be full-blown diabetic."  I had to take my blood sugar three times a day and was sent off to a nutritionist, whom I promptly ignored. (I craved Icees  while I was pregnant, and still can't see an Icee machine without thinking of that time.) It's a miracle I only had to be hospitalized once for my out-of-control blood sugar during my pregnancy.

The thing was: I was in my early twenties and therefore invincible, but I did make a mental note. My grandmothers on both sides of the family had diabetes, and I'd seen the consequences of this illness first hand. Shots! No sugar at all! (No sugar was unthinkable then...) One of my Grandmothers was mostly blind and kept a suitcase full of pills with her to take throughout the day. A suitcase! This was a life-altering disease and I knew I didn't want to go there.

So with the spectre of diabetes in the back of my mind, from time to time I'd start in again. The rice diet, low fat, whatever was vogue and promised miraculous results. A miracle was the only thing I could even fathom might work at this point.

I did lose about 40 pounds with Phen-Fen, until that was taken off the market. Get this: I didn't even care about the potential heart problems from Phen-Fen. I was just disgruntled that my magic bullet was no longer available! While I gained the weight back, I was diagnosed with a hypoactive thyroid during that time, and getting medication for this helped. It wasn't my weight loss miracle, but I felt better and had more energy. I also tossed my scale in the trash, because it did nothing but depress me!

I kept pretty much on the same track until late 2003. I started hearing more and more about low-carb, and my stepdaughter started it (kind of, anyway—she was one of those "taking a friend's word for what Atkin's is" dieters) and was losing weight.  I had seen a couple of pictures of myself (like me at the beach) that upset me: that sure wasn't the image I carried around in my head!

So I decided to give it a go, low-carbed for 2 weeks and lost 12 pounds, but just hadn't made the mental adjustements. I was sick the first four days with a horrible sugar crash, and hated it. I didn't have the book, was eating mostly eggs and bacon cheeseburgers with an occasional salad thrown in, and just wasn't happy. It was still all or nothing for me. Even though I was losing, I was still obessed with dieting and I was sick of the entire subject,  so I tossed up my hands, said "Screw this!" and that was that.

The next annual visit to the doctor, she showed me a chart. At my BMI of 42, I had roughly a 45% risk of developing diabetes! This, coupled with my family history, moved the diabetes issue from "if" to "when" in my head. Of that 20-year timetable to diabetes my first doc had predicted, fifteen had passed! I didn't like the way this was going...Doc suggested low carb. I decided I needed to get serious and now! It was time.

So I started researching low carb in earnest. I knew it worked, after all, and I knew I didn't have to be hungry. The people who had the most to lose seemed to be the most successful with low carb. I went to a lot of low carb websites, including this one. I read dozens of success stories and looked at hundreds of before and after pictures.

Slowly, surely, a little bit at a time, it began to take root in my brain: "Hey, maybe I could do that, too! Just maybe..." The tide was turning. I started getting visions of myself in my head, strong, healthy and thin. I started to believe, and I knew instinctively that belief was opening a window of opportunity. I was determined to climb right through that window! (If you've ever shared your story or pictures, thank you! I owe a debt of gratitude to every person who did so, because you helped me believe it was possible.)

I got the Atkins book and a low-carb cookbook, because I knew I needed to learn the rules first and I knew I needed more variety in my eating than I'd managed with my first run. I got some vitamin supplements. I immediately started tapering off my extreme Dr. Pepper and Cappuccino habits, which amounted to a sugar IV all day long. I started to work on upping my activity levels, just a little here and there. It wasn't much at first, but I was moving more, nonetheless. I started drinking my water.

They were very small steps at first, but they were steps in the right direction. I started putting more energy into visualizing myself thin, building on the initially very tenuous idea that it could happen for me, that I could do it. I actively worked on believing. With belief, the rough patches become surmountable, worth the trouble of overcoming.  I began low-carbing "for real" on November 15, 2003. I weighed about 250 then (from a high of about 275—hard to say exactly when you've pitched your scale), and wore a 26W. And man—now?

Now? Well, at this writing, I weigh 147 and comfortably wear a size 10. I've seen my BMI go down from a very unhealthy 42 to a low-risk 24. I've lost well over a yard of fat from about my body. I've dropped 16 sizes and look younger than I have in years. And one of the nicest perks: I've seen my success (and altered grocery shopping habits) positively impact my family. Every member of my family lost extra weight thanks to our low carbing!

Over the first year, I'd lost an average of just under 2 pounds a week. Not amazing by anybody's standards and yet, a year later, that means over 100 pounds gone! People get fixated on the daily fluctuation of the scale, but in the long haul, it just doesn't matter a whit. I do use the numbers to help me chart my progress, but that's all it is. I'd like to lose some more and find what my "ideal" weight looks and feels like, but for now, I'm still happy.

See, it feels like magic now, but there was nothing magic about it. I just kept working on keeping my attitude positive and plugging away. I did everything I could think of to build myself up and give myself every advantage. I was consistent eating low carb, if far from perfect! Sometimes I ate off-plan foods and sometimes I ate too much of foods that were on plan or just not the best choices for whatever reason (and still do, by the way), but no matter what, I didn't stop doing it! That is the "secret" to my success: don't stop! I was feeling better than I had ever felt in my life, lost my cravings and that sense of desperation that used to surround weight issue for me, and was thrilled beyond belief.

From here, I think back to when I started out. I had a little weight-loss tracking program and was contemplating the "goal" area. What was my goal? If I could pick any weight I wanted to be? I almost arbitrarily said, "Ok—135!" It was a weight I'd like to be, true. But that seemed so far off, so ridiculous considering where I was at. Honestly, I was embarrassed to even admit to myself that I actually was interested in being that thin and could be delusional enough to consider it possible! But I typed it in anyway, and just didn't tell anybody. Now I know I can and hit 135, or maybe something a little more or less. Sometimes my weight goes up and sometimes it goes down, but it just doesn't matter. The numbers don't hold the same allure for me at this point. Now, it's about being healthy and feeling good. It's about taking control of my own life.

People sometimes ask me, "What does it feel like to lose that much weight?" and that's a hard question to answer. I guess if I had to boil it down to its essence for me, it would be "empowering." I know that I never have to be overweight again, and that I am control of my health and my life. I know if I can loose over 100 pounds and keep it off, I can tackle anything! I am a different person now, in lots of ways. And I like it!

At first, I was hesitant to share my "success story," since I don't feel like I'm done. But we're never actually done, are we? I realized, "Hey, every day that I'm out there, working on improving who I am, then I am a success!" And you are, too! It's not what I've eaten or not eaten in a given day or some arbitrary number on the scale that makes me a success: it's working on realizing my potential. It's spending every day trying to become a little better than I was the day before. The weight loss is just a bonus. Am I there yet? Heck, no! But I know I'm on my way!

What you need to do is simple: every day, put one foot in front of the other and keep on moving in the direction you want to go. It doesn't matter in the least how small the steps may seem, or whatever missteps you make along the way. Every single step counts! Every tiny little step you take moves you a bit closer to where you want to go. Stop making excuses! Just keep taking your steps and let go of the rest of it. 

If you do this consistently, NEVER give up, but just keep building yourself up and taking your steps...well, one day, sooner than you could have possibly imagined, you're going to be sitting here, telling somebody else your story about how you took control of your weight and your life. You CAN do this, and Lord, it's worth every bit of energy you put into it! I'm living, breathing, and (oftentimes loud) proof of just that.

And you'll most likely find yourself feeling more gratitude than you ever knew was possible. At least, that's how I feel. Thanks for all the support you've all given me along the way, and for listening to my story. I'm looking forward to reading yours!

Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution, New and Revised Edition author: Robert C. Atkins asin: B000C4T48I