A new outlook on life?

Like so many, I was always overweight.

Maybe not by much in the beginning, but it was enough of a difference that it made an impact on my personality early on.

I started to "retreat" socially in elementary. Oh, sure I still had friends, but I was always careful not to put myself in situations where someone might say something hurtful. That was how I lived my life through high school and college. I did not date but I did go out and enjoy college. But of course I had no self-esteem, so I was always depressed that I could not "get" a guy. So I ate and ate to comfort myself. I would often feel too fat and bloated to try and put on a pair of jeans, so I would just stay home and order pizza. So began the vicious cycle. For each summer break, I would go back home heavier than before. I had never really tried dieting, but every summer I would vow to exercise and lose the weight. You know how that ends up. I figure I was about a size 18 when I started college. I was a size 24 and weighed 260 lbs by graduation.

I was at the height of my depression. I didn't even realize it at the time, but that's what it was. I didn't want to go out. I hated myself, I didn't want to do anything but stay home and not deal with the world. I spent 3 years after graduation this way. Just gaining and gaining. I resorted to not wearing make-up, slicking my hair back in a clip and trying desperately not to look in the mirror. I also developed skin discoloration from PCOS under my breasts, on my neck and inside my elbow. I had had them for a while, but as I gained weight it just got worse. I was at the end of my rope.

So what changed? I honestly can't give one answer. It was everything. I was tired. I couldn't' keep up with my nephew. My size 24 pants were cutting off my circulation. I was ashamed of myself. I didn't want anybody to see me. But I realized that they were seeing me. This is what I was presenting to the world. It made me realize that it was stupid of me to hide a picture that I didn't like because I was fat. Did I think that since I hid the picture that nobody would see? I was a walking picture! I finally decided I didn't want to present that picture to everybody anymore. So I borrowed the Atkins book from my sister October 22 2001. She had picked it up casually and didn't really follow it. But it struck a chord with me when I flipped through it. I thought, "Why not?" I would be just as fat or even fatter six months from now. What did I have to lose? I just knew this was for me. It was do or die. And I did it.

I don't know how. I don't know what gave me the strength to stick through the beginning months. I will say this though; I have had tremendous support from my family. Not once did any one of them question my decision to do this. My mom just recently told me that she was "worried to death" that this "diet" was dangerous. She had her doubts, but she was the first one to encourage and support me when I was stalling. She learned how to cook some special low carb treats for my birthday. Even now, she will bake low carb treats for me on special occasions. Actually, my whole family is extremely thoughtful in that respect. They are considerate of my eating choices and help me every step of the way. Their pride in my accomplishment as well as the pride I have in myself keeps me going.

On second thought, maybe I do know how I did it!

It's been a long road, but I'm in this for LIFE. I've gone from a 24 to a 16. I want to be a size 12 and I'll keep on truckin' until I get there. It kind of bugs me that it has taken so long, but I have to keep reminding myself that this is not a race. Besides, aren't I better off now than when I was a miserable person? I sure think so. I think I'm already a success even though I haven?t reached my goal size. Heck, just living everyday with a new positive outlook is reward enough!

Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution, New and Revised Edition author: Robert C. Atkins asin: B000C4T48I